So many couples enter counseling feeling isolated and disconnected from each other. The individual members often describe feeling angry, hurt, alone, unheard or unwanted. In couples therapy I will help you and your partner identify and share these feelings and unravel the underlying causes. Together we will work on how each can be a better partner. You will each gain an understanding of yourself and your contributions to the difficulties. Focusing on what you can do to improve the relationship rather than only on what your partner is doing wrong can be very empowering.
- These are common struggles for which couples seek counseling. Do any of these apply to your relationship?
- Little to no physical contact or sexual relations
- Little time just enjoying each other’s company
- Arguing over the same issues time and again with no resolution
- Unable to comfortably communicate about different approaches to life issues such as finances or parenting
- Difficulty agreeing on division of household responsibilities and tasks
- Different views on step parenting
- Arguing over different views about the role of parents and in-laws in your lives
I will work with you initially to better identify and communicate your struggles. We then will examine your patterns of relating in order to shift stuck patterns to healthier ones. For example, when dealing with conflict or stress, quite often one partner presses towards the other while one withdraws. This “pursuer/distancer dance” leaves couples angry and unable to solve problems. By replacing ineffective interaction patterns with healthier ones, you can create positive, lasting changes that open up deeper connection for you and your partner. The goal of this process is to create a deeper understanding of each other’s needs, employ better techniques for relating, and develop a bond between the two of you that can withstand future challenges.
My post graduate training includes a heavy emphasis on couples counseling. I completed a one year training program at the Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy and Psychoanalysis which focused solely on working with couples. In addition, I did a two year training program at the Washington School of Psychiatry studying both individual and couples therapy. This additional training has greatly enhanced my work with couples.